I have been in this funk for a while now. I didn't know I was in it until just recently though.
I think it started about nine months ago. No, I'm not pregnant. I realized that my oldest was graduating and there were SOOO many things that I felt I needed to cover with school to prepare him for that, plus figure out how to school the other two and take care of all my other duties as a wife and mom. I guess I was a little overwhelmed. I usually live a very low stress life with a very empty calendar. I'm not complaining about that but when all of the sudden your life is jammed packed full emotionally and physically and your not used to it, there could be a problem if it isn't handled properly. And I obviously haven't handled it properly.
Phil. 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I haven't been applying this principle at all. Yes, I think I can honestly say that. I would pray for a friend if they asked and I would pray for the requests floating down the prayer chain but as far as anything else, nada, nothing, zilch. Pretty scary, right. I should know better, I do know better. I don't have a good excuse, just the typical ones...
I was busy doing...
Everything is going okay, so....
Why would God care about this mess, after all it is my fault I'm in it anyway.
So how did I realize I was in a funk when I wasn't really close enough to God to hear the Holy Spirit whisper it to me? I don't really have an answer to that question. I know that I started spring cleaning and when that happens the kids seem to scatter and stay very quiet. Almost as if they don't want me to remember that they are here. So I have a lot of quiet time doing mindless things. I guess that gives me time to evaluate my life.
It's amazing how when you aren't in the Word and you aren't conversing with God how bad your attitude gets. I mean REALLY stinkin' bad!
Matthew 7:1-4 "Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?"
That was me! Being critical and judgemental and all those other things that a christian should not be. A little scary, but also true to anyone who isn't constantly in companionship with God.
Funny how when you recognize the lie and repent for believing it, how things start to change. Relationships are healed. Motivation is restored. Dreams start to become more of a reality. Confidence of who you are in Christ is lived out.
What is the lie? It could be different things to different people. For me right now, it was all those excuses listed above and some more. I was exactly where the enemy wanted me to be and he was having a hay day with me. So right now I am back on the right path of falling in love with Jesus again and learning more about how much He loves me and cares about even the little details of my life. And that no matter what, nothing can separate me from His love.
Until next time, hope all have a blessed day.
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. No, I am not building a house, we already did that, but it takes wise hands to keep it from falling apart. This is my journey in "building my house" both my spiritual and my physical self. My daily life consists of homeschooling, working part-time, and (hopefully) being a good wife and friend. There are many ups and downs, victories and failures, but with Gods help, I will be the best me I can be.
Thanks for being real, Tracey. I can relate to your feelings, and it is so true how God rushes in to fill our lives when we take down the walls that lies build around our hearts.
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